Camp Erdman: My Misery and the Stars (Part 5 of 6)

It has been a while since I made another camp post. Sorry for taking so long! I'm sure nobody cares by now, but I will finishing up since the next camp post will be the last part.

Note: Looking back, this affair was extremely embarassing for me so I wasn't sure if I should post it. But I have decided to be honest with all the events that happened during camp, even of the things that I am not proud of. This was the only one time I felt unhappy during camp, but it helped me to grow stronger. I think that if this happened again, I would have acted differently.

Continued from the previous post...


A class picture behind the campfire.
After doing the skit, late night snack (this time it was pizza) and "discussion," we made our own campfire. It took us a long time to get a fire going. It is silly how people get fires started unintentionally and here we are trying our best to start a fire! It was really difficult. Once we successfully made fire, people took turns to say a speech. We took some group pictures behind the fire and then went star gazing.

I was looking forward to star gazing until the teachers told us to lie on the sand. As prissy as this sounds, I don't like the idea of getting my clothes dirty, but I reluctantly laid down on the gritty sand. We were bunched up like a pack of sardines, touching shoulder to shoulder. The night sky was magnificent. I think this was the first time in my life that I saw so many stars in the sky. I only recognized the Orion belt. It was nice for a little while, but in time I wanted to get back up. The teachers wanted everyone to stay down. Suddenly, I felt someone on top of me. It was Juri! I realized that she was making her way across the sand, just rolling on top of us. That crazy girl. I thought she was the only one until another person tried it. And another. And another. Finally, even Ms. Nakamura rolled on top of us! Sam grew excited and decided to try it, but she rolled off course. It was hilarious. I don't know how long I laid down there, but it felt like forever. I think we must have laid there for an hour. Michelle showed me her watch and it blinked 10:40pm! We laid there long after that, me waiting patiently for us to go back to our cabins.

I loved the night sky, but I was freezing. I wasn't wearing my jacket in an attempt to keep it clean but with insane people rolling on top of me, my efforts were wasted. I tried to concentrate on the stars, but my vision grew blurry, even with my glasses on. People started singing random kiddy songs and Disney songs. It went on and on. I wanted to go, but I stayed because everyone else was having such a great time. I wasn't sure if they wanted to leave yet. Some even suggested lying in the sand until morning. I panicked and hoped they weren't serious. I tried waiting some more until I was absolutely stiff from the cold. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable and I felt my muscles tense up. I tried telling myself to stop being such a spoil-sport. As Janelle would say, I should "chillax." Loosen up. Try to enjoy myself. But I couldn't. I tried to rest my legs, but it was hard. I felt like Jack and Rose near the ending of the Titanic movie. Stiff and cold in the middle of the ocean. When I couldn't take it anymore, I forced myself to sit up.

Eventually, everyone got up and slowly walked back. It was hard for me to move in the sand. I felt drunk. When we went back to the camp, I couldn't hold back my tears. I really wanted to shower first, but I was scared of being selfish because I wasn't the only one who was dirty. Ha insisted on going first so I went second in a different bathroom. I finally got to relax when I got in the shower. My arms finally loosened up but my hands were still shaking and I dropped the showerhead I was holding. I then realized that my entire body was shaking. Not only that, I usually take baths so I wasn't used to the showers. I tried to calm myself down. Now I feel embarrassed for acting the way I did. I don't know what went wrong. Why did I have to be like that? I guess I can handle only so much after one day. Jenni was very understanding and asked if I were okay since I broke down crying in front of her earlier. I wanted to stay up a little later to write, but it was past midnight. The girls planned to have a "Project Runaway Show," but we were so tired and exhausted from the day's events that it wasn't held. Some immediately went to sleep. I lingered around longer, talking to Jenni and eating. I don't know when I finally went to sleep, but it must have been morning. That was a first since I have never been able to do this at home.