A Lost Friend?

This morning, I woke up feeling groggier than usual. I couldn't find my comb, my eye glass case, and a great number of other items. Things always seem to mysteriously disappear from our room! I was filled with depressing thoughts on the bus ride to school. The sadness that I've kept inside of me all this time was just itching to burst out any moment, but I held it in and tried to think good thoughts.

When she came to the cafeteria, she gave me five blueberry cupcakes as a part of my late birthday present. I felt very grateful for them because I didn't like today's school lunch. She also wrote a letter apologizing and acknowledging the fact that she didn't even wish me a happy birthday. I was surprised and almost felt like crying.

All of this time, I couldn't help feeling extremely hurt and bitter. We drifted apart when she got a boyfriend. Whenever I try to talk to her, I can't because her boyfriend is always there interrupting our conversation with rude and sarcastic remarks. He clings to her 24/7 and I rarely see her alone anymore. When we all sit together with other friends at lunch and in class, she talks to other people. It almost seems like she's ignoring me. The only time she does pay any attention to me is during US History class because I'm practically the only person she knows (aside from one or two other girls). It made me feel like I was below others on her list and that she would rather talk to other people. It is like I'm her last resort because there is no one else to talk to. Maybe having a boyfriend means neglecting your friends a bit. I know it's not intentional, but it did hurt. She has been aloof and distant, especially on my birthday. On the morning of my birthday, she only spoke to a friend sitting across from me and then left to sit at another table with her boyfriend. No "hi" or "good morning." I made an attempt to be friendly with her in Physics class by pointing out that we were both wearing yellow, but that was about it. She didn't talk to me AT ALL. Maybe she doesn't even realize that she's been cold, but I really felt like I'm not her friend anymore. Friends know each other and all of a sudden, she seemed like a stranger to me. Do I really know anything about her?

Today was slightly different. For the first time in what felt like years (it was actually months), she sat next to me at the lunch table and watched me eat her cupcakes. They were incredibly moist and I like how she was generous with the blueberries. <3 Her boyfriend wasn't at the table because he had cafeteria duty so we could actually talk.

She tells me that it's difficult to juggle having a boyfriend and friends at the same time. Well, she has obviously chosen her boyfriend over her friends. I've never felt so neglected before.

I miss the old days.