Is it obvious that there's something wrong?

Here are just some random thoughts I had today.

- I felt faint today so I didn't feel like walking across campus, but I couldn't tell her that. I don't want them to roll my eyes and think of me as a weak person.
If she got upset, I won't offer an explanation because having them know the truth is more terrifying.

- You can underestimate good friends because they can read your mind even when you're pretending. And I pretend quite often. When I feel like dying, I will remember that I have friends like these.

- I pretend not because I'm a liar, but because of the 'secret,' the idea that believing something eventually makes it true. Applying this theory means that when you pretend to be okay, everything will be okay. But maybe it doesn't work very well.

- These past few weeks have been mentally and physically exhausting!!! No play! No sleep! Just do, do, do!

- My non-existent plans for the summer bother me so much. I want to be productive. I want to do something...truthfully, I want to study abroad in Korea. My long weeks of searching for scholarships have resulted in nothing. Where can I find $5000???

- I want to draw. But I don't have that kind of luxury right now.

- I FINISHED TWO MIDTERMS AND MY SECOND VIDEO PROJECT!!! I feel so accomplished. It was a terrible day that ended well.

- One more midterm and one day to study for it! Go, go, go!!!

Tamao!

So I expected today to be a highly stressful day because my new roommate was arriving and I would be performing a Taiko song I wasn't sure I knew. And it was because I received some distressing news from a friend that one of my friends think I'm flirting with the boy she likes (RIDICULOUS!) This kind of ruined my day because I now realize why she acts irritated with me all the time and why I've been feeling down. She plans to confess to him on Valentine's Day so I really hope everything goes well~ I can't waitttttt. You can never truly escape high school drama.

Anyway, a really nerve-wracking day turned out fabulous because the performance went well and my new roommate is so awesome! ^_^ I've been a jerk about getting a new roommate for a while. People ask me if I'm excited, but I realized that I never really get excited about things until that time actually comes.

And she is A RIOT. She complained woefully that a Brazilian boy she stayed with in New Zealand once called her a "crazy girl." Well, yeah. XD

So she's really athletic - she was the president of kendo club and she does badminton and swimming and a bunch of other things that I can't remember. @___@ We talked about boys. She already has her eyes on a blonde boy she met in the kitchen - she calls him the "tea boy." XD How cute is that? He was boiling water to make tea. She's fast, huh?

For some reason, we got onto the topic of Soran Bushi and we even had a little Soran Bushi dance craze for a while. She was very strict with the moves too. XD

And the best thing of all?!
She's a fan of Tohoshinki!!!
Kyahh!
She likes Jaejoong!
LOL.

She suggested we do a Tohoshinki karaoke session so we sang a bunch of songs on Youtube (LOL). Her favorite song was "Stand by You." I showed her "Love in the Ice" and she cried watching their performance. She also teared up watching "Lion Heart." I showed her pictures of Jaejoong from the JYJ concert in Las Vegas and she accidentally hit her head against the bed post in excitement! LOL.

She is so much fun and I've never laughed so much. It's weird to see that my previously empty room is now preoccupied with such a strange girl. This semester will be interestingggg!

Recently

It has been about three weeks since school started. The first week was horrible because I felt incredibly depressed, lonely, and homesick without really knowing why I felt that way exactly... But my friends have been throwing a party every weekend, which helped me get out of that slump! ^_^

Classes this semester are TOUGH. The subjects are foreign to me, especially photography and video art, so I especially need to work hard. I have the same professor for the two classes so I see her three times a week (in a row!) I always feel lost in her classes and it scares me. The problem is that her taste in art does not exactly suit mine, but I need to make it suit mine in order for me to pass with an 'A.' She likes photography and video art pieces that are quite disturbing and uncomfortable for viewers...it makes me want to cry. I admit. I like conventional art. What's wrong with liking things that are pretty?

People here can't tell Asians apart. I'm not offended at all - it's rather funny. Chelsie and I went to have brunch one day. The woman taking orders ignored me and talked to the person behind me. When she saw that I was still standing there, she asked me, "Did you want to order something else?"

I gave her my order and proceeded to wait with Chelsie at the end of the counter. After a few minutes, the woman came up to us and told us that she had made the mistake of canceling Chelsie's order and putting my order up instead because she thought we were the same person! (And trust me, we look nothing alike and dress differently.) It's no wonder she didn't initially take my order because Chelsie had already ordered! I overheard her telling the chef, "They look the same! The same!" My supervisor also occasionally makes the mistake of calling me Haylee (another Asian who works in the office).

In other news...things are finally starting to pick up. I'll be thrown into that super busy schedule again! Lu'au is coming up! Club activities too! Ah! And my new roommate will be arriving from Japan in three days! It'll be weird having a roommate again. People said that it's lonely without one, but I love it! Now I have to stop being selfish. XD

Trying not to neglect!

Dude.

I seriously fail at this blog.

Complete fail.

Sometimes, I feel like I don't really care about it that much. Because Tumblr is just that much cooler, funner, and addicting.

I still need this when I have long text posts I want to do, though. Still don't feel comfortable writing alot on Tumblr. ;)

Anyway, I had a lovely dinner with everyone from work at Marco Polo, the only Chinese restaurant I've been in Salem that hasn't failed completely. I ordered the walnut chicken, but only because I really wanted to eat roasted walnuts drizzled in honey. That's the best kind of stuff!



And then I ended up watching two episodes of Glee with Chelsie. I've never watched Glee before and just jumped right into the Christmas episode. Fun!

We went to a party afterward and exchanged Secret Santa gifts. I've exchanged Christmas gifts before, but at this one particular moment, I thought, "Oh. This is what Christmas is."
Somehow, I thought I felt Christmas for the first time, but it's really hard to explain. My Secret Santa turned out to be a freshman boy and my gift was three pairs of knee-high pink socks. Honestly, I don't think he knew what a good gift for me would be at all but he tried and I love him anyway because he's adorable. He accidentally left his overdue library card inside, lol! I was so confused after unwrapping it. :P



I stayed up till 4~5am that night (or morning) for no reason. I was talking to my roommate and just didn't feel like sleeping. I was a little worried that I wouldn't be able to wake up the next morning, but I knew I had taiko practice and that would force me to get up. And I did at 8:30am.

It was our last performance with the TIUA students before they returned to Japan. It generally went well, despite the slippery floors (we played outdoors when it was raining!) I had also pulled a butt muscle from running around in the rain in high heeled boots.

We were also given a short break to check out the flea market and I spent less than $20! Awesome.

We had a party that night at Kaoru's place. She and her husband own a vineyard so everyone was hoping to taste some of her wine...hehe!



She lived in a perfect house and I loved her living room. so. very. much.
I could imagine myself setting an easel in the middle of the room, painting Jaejoong or some other cute boy, while blasting JYJ on those amazing speakers.



And the food!

Oh my gosh, the food!!!

Okay, so I've been to nice restaurants and various other 'fancy' events that served 'fancy' food numerous times since coming to college, but I never thought the food actually tasted better really. Most of the time, everything looked better than it tasted. I was always disappointed. There was food in two different rooms and they just kept coming!



But this food was ah-ma-zing!!! So much wonderful desserts. We made okonomiyaki. Later, there were chicken drumsticks and pizza. And then this mysterious stew! No one really knew what it was exactly, except that it was heaven on earth. And the bread was incredibly soft. I loved the cheese spread. And there was this other almond-bacon-cheese spread on crackers that was interesting!

It was a sophisticated adult party (it wasn't just us taiko kids there) with wine. I tried some blushing champagne, which was pink with a frothy surface. It was really pretty~ my kind of drink! And then I tried the red wine that Kaoru recommended. It had a really strong smell and taste. I'm trying to ease myself into getting used to alcohol because I'm not liking it too much right now...but I'm trying some and being careful. :)

Too much fun in two days. I have a final on Monday. So I will have to have have to be serious tomorrow. Fo' sho!

Dilemnas and facing reality...

I've always been idealistic, but I've also become more bolder and impulsive since coming to college. I have been able to dream bigger because I'm on my own now and I don't have my sister's practicality or my family to bring me back to reality.

So I declared myself a double major, studying Japanese and art. It's what I personally and selfishly enjoy doing. My parents don't know yet because I haven't told them. I figured that they'd find out when I graduate and it would be too late then.

I knew I had to be careful in my selection of classes - trying to fit both of my major requirements will make my schedule tight. However, I've planned it out so that it just fits. But I found out I was wrong after my adviser's meeting this past Thursday.

I thought the 4 classes I take studying abroad will equal to 4 credits, but the 2 language classes I'm required to take actually count as 1 credit, making that a total of only 3 credits. I was 1 credit short of graduating on time.

So I knew I had to take 5 classes one semester. I thought selfishly and worried about whether I could handle the increased workload. I worried about being a super senior and not graduating with my friends.

I didn't realize until today that I don't have the luxury to even think any of this.
My parents don't even know I'm taking art in the first place.
They would not pay an extra $2000 for me to study art.
And I won't be able to afford it myself.

I may be forced to drop it.

Halloween

I usually don’t do anything special on Halloween, so it is funny that I actually dressed up this year! Compared to what others wore, you could barely call it dressing up...but the character I cosplayed didn’t require too much. ^^ I was Kiki, from Hayao Miyazaki’s film, “Kiki’s Delivery Service.” I wore red shoes, a plain black dress, and a red bow tie in my hair. I also sewed Jiji because the character would not be complete without her cat. ^^



Many people complained that I should have brought a broomstick with me, but I had my hands full that day (esp. in the morning!) carrying two bags of food for the Japanese Club Halloween Party, a huge yearbook camera, and my school bag.

Finishing Jiji was a close one! I didn’t have much time to work on him; plus, I ran out of black felt! (My good friend Wai Chu came to the rescue when she gave me what she had since there was no time to visit the craft store.) It was the first time I sewed anything (much less a plushie!) on the sewing machine. The experience was fun and I’d like to do it again! ^_^

The Japanese Club Halloween Party turnout was good. It could have been better (I’m sad that many people couldn’t make it) but I’m glad it wasn’t a total flop. After all, I stayed up 'til 1:00am to finish making chocolate cake! We bought a pinata for the event, and it was a major success because we got a lot of laughter. Everyone was having fun and enjoying themselves~


Here's a picture of Joyce trying to hit the pinata (and missed!) It's okay though, because I was worse. I didn't make any hit at all. :)

After the party, I went trick-or-treating at Ala Moana with some friends. A couple of people called us “old,” but that’s okay because this is the last year I’m going to do it (while I’m still 17 and not 18!)


I'm going to end this post with this picture because...I love my yearbook class! Everyone dressed up! (Except maybe the teacher, who claimed protested that he DID dress up...as himself.)

I Can't Subtract.

[During an experiment at Physics EA class, period 1.]

Judy: What's 25 minus 15?
Me: 15! No, wait...10!
[pause]
Judy: ...Isn't it 5?
Me: ...
[Ryan was listening to this.]
Ryan: You guys are in PreCalculus, right?
[Judy nods.]
Me: -_________-

Weak

Yikes! I didn't realize that my last post was in October and that it's almost the end of November! How time flies! Not much is new with me. I had a sore throat last Friday, which developed into a cold and a slight fever on Saturday. I called the library to tell them I was not feeling well. Instead, I chose to stay home to do my English homework (part of my never-ending list of work to do). I guess that wasn't such a bright idea, though, because I fell off my chair when I was typing the revision of an essay. I mean, what kind of idiot does that?! I scraped the part of my arm that is a little above my elbow. Ouch!

On Sunday, I was especially stressing in the morning because I felt horrible and sickly but I had a lot of studying to do and oh no why can't time stop just once? But no, I still had to study, sick or not. I didn't want to fail...I grew up having that to be one of my biggest fears. I took A LOT of different pills (for sore throat, cold, fever, etc.) and studied in vain. My head was pounding slightly and I was feeling incredibly weak so I laid in bed for a while. After napping for an hour or so, I woke up with my head spinning more than ever. I hate that I can't take naps in the afternoon when I feel tired because I always wake up with a headache.

In the afternoon, Jenny and Zane left to buy Zane a suit. It was a miracle that my parents didn't bother me so I was able to concentrate on studying for my Chapter 7 & 8 Physics test in peace. And a miracle happened because I could actually concentrate (or maybe it's just the pills doing the magic, hehe). It's always very hard for me to read my Physics textbook. I dread it because I never understand what I'm reading. It takes a tremendous amount of effort and discipline to go through it. =) After five hours or so, I felt confident that I would do well on the test tomorrow. At night, I started studying for the Chapter 3 math test. I stayed up a little later than I intended because I saw some pictures of Dong Bang Shin Ki and I simply could NOT stop myself from going through them and saving them. I swear, the fangirl in me took over my body.

Me, "Go to sleeeeeppp! You have a test first thing tomorrow and you're sick."
Fangirl, "Wow, lookit how big these scans are!"
Me, "Look at the time. You have school tomorrow."
Fangirl, "Oh my gosh, not only pictures of Jaejoong, but all the other members too! <3"
Me, "GO TO SLEEP!"
Fangirl, "Har har, Micky looks weird in this picture."
Me, "..."

The fangirl won and I had to wait until she was satisfied with all the pictures she saved before going to bed. @_@

My fever is gone now (I think) but my cold is still there because I had to blow my nose multiple times during the test. My friend (who sat next to me) also caught a cold so we were both blowing our noses, lol. It seems like I just have to get sick at least once a year or something...and I'm especially vulnerable in the winter. (What is wrong with me! I live in Hawaii!)

I hope everyone else is taking better care of themselves than me! Take care!

I'm a Nutcase. Really.

I AM SO STUPID.

I can say I'm the stupidest person in the world and it wouldn't be an exaggeration. I'm sure you can't help but agree after you read this post. So don't if you still want to believe in me.

I don't know why I kept screwing up today at school. But I did. Over and over again.

It began first period (Physics EA). The teacher gave us a pop quiz (our second one already!) It's funny how I just learned how to "vector" in PS over the summer, yet I can't make any sense of vectoring in Physics.

I started stupidly at the problem on the blackboard for half an hour, trying to graph vector A = 5m 40 degrees W. I thought to myself, "Is it 40 degrees in the direction of the protractor or the graph?" I got really confused because south would mean I had to turn my protractor upside-down. But the protractor's "west" would become the graph's "east." Which direction was I supposed to follow?

At first, I felt confident that I would figure it out eventually. Perhaps it was a temporary brain fart and I would start to understand after I relaxed a bit. Relax I did not and nothing came to me. Minutes passed by and I still had no idea. I kept drawing, erasing, redrawing, and erasing. I gave up on the graph after a while and decided to proceed on to the calculations. But I couldn't do those, either! Maybe an hour passed before I noticed people around me using their notes. >__> I quickly grabbed my own notes from my binder. Alas, I didn't even understand my own notes (you must be thinking how much more hopeless can this girl get but oh boy, she can!) I suddenly felt that old panic that came back to haunt me.

I was in the fifth grade, staring at the horrendous "F" sitting on my test paper. Yes, that infamous "F" that preyed on so many students. I had never been a victim until that day. And to this day, it was still my only "F." You might be wondering what kind of test it was, coming from the girl who worked so hard to receive A's from all her math tests, even when one problem's calculations took up an entire page. It was the most horrible kind of test: street maps that required labeling of all sorts. I had to do a map of my own neighborhood. I didn't know what was considered the "back" or "front" of my home, nor what direction school was from home. Back then, I had a big problem with "north" and "south." To this day, I still can't make any sense of directions. It's so confusing!

Getting back to Physics class...the teacher was nice enough to let everyone take the quiz until the end of class. I gave up a while after the bell rang and tried my best to hold back tears.

My last period of the day was English. I did not turn in the homework that I worked so and on last night because I apparently left it at home. I thought I remembered putting it in my binder, but I guess it was only my imagination. This is another problem - sometimes I can't differentiate what really happened and what I only thought happened. There are many times that I don't know dream from reality.

(As I write this, I'm starting to think I'm more of a nutcase than I thought.)

As I have mentioned before, English is currently one of my worst subjects (it didn't used to be). In class, Mr. Nickelsen would pass out different articles that we had to interpret through SOAPS (Subject, Occasion, Audience, Purpose, Speaker). So far, I haven't been able to get any of my responses correct. I either didn't understand the text, or I misinterpreted it. When we were assigned to read, "Once More to the Lake" by E.B. White, I was excited because I thought that this was the first time I truly understood the essay. I was proud of my answers, no bull-shitting necessary. But I didn't have it with me in class.

Our English class starts everyday with some journal writing. The teacher explained that he will check and grade our journals every five entries. Well, today happened to be the fifth day. And no, I didn't leave my journal home like you might have guessed. And I did write my fifth journal. We turned our homework in at the end of class and I was in a frenzy trying to find my homework (the one with the answers that I'm so proud of and the one I printed twice so it'd be perfect). I was a mess. Friends tried to help me look for it, but it couldn't be found. I was so upset that I gathered everything on my desk and left the classroom. I also stuffed my journal in my bag. On the very day we were supposed to turn them in.

No, it wasn't that I didn't realize I had it. I realized just in time, actually. I walked across the football field, opened my bag, saw the journal, muttered, "Oh shit," and ran back across the field to the English building. When I reached the building, I was devastated to find the door closed and locked. I knocked in vain and looked around me. There were other students hanging around nearby. I asked them if they by any chance knew where Mr. Nickelsen went. After all, they were right in front of his door and might be waiting for him, too. Nobody knew and one girl even asked, "Who's Nickelsen?" I paced back and forth in front of his door, debating whether I should wait in case he comes back or just leave. After a few minutes, I decided I waited long enough and left.

Now that I'm sitting nicely back at home, I hit another terrible realization. Guys, I'm really much more stupid than you think. I'm so stupid that it's unbelievable and telling this to others would only sound like fibbing.

The closed classroom that I furiously and embarrassingly ran back to was not my classroom. Not at all. You see, the English building has two sides and I had run to the wrong side of the building. The two sides look identical and I often get them mixed up.

I swear. If Joyce didn't guide walk with me to class everyday, I would have walked into the wrong classroom!

A Lost Friend?

This morning, I woke up feeling groggier than usual. I couldn't find my comb, my eye glass case, and a great number of other items. Things always seem to mysteriously disappear from our room! I was filled with depressing thoughts on the bus ride to school. The sadness that I've kept inside of me all this time was just itching to burst out any moment, but I held it in and tried to think good thoughts.

When she came to the cafeteria, she gave me five blueberry cupcakes as a part of my late birthday present. I felt very grateful for them because I didn't like today's school lunch. She also wrote a letter apologizing and acknowledging the fact that she didn't even wish me a happy birthday. I was surprised and almost felt like crying.

All of this time, I couldn't help feeling extremely hurt and bitter. We drifted apart when she got a boyfriend. Whenever I try to talk to her, I can't because her boyfriend is always there interrupting our conversation with rude and sarcastic remarks. He clings to her 24/7 and I rarely see her alone anymore. When we all sit together with other friends at lunch and in class, she talks to other people. It almost seems like she's ignoring me. The only time she does pay any attention to me is during US History class because I'm practically the only person she knows (aside from one or two other girls). It made me feel like I was below others on her list and that she would rather talk to other people. It is like I'm her last resort because there is no one else to talk to. Maybe having a boyfriend means neglecting your friends a bit. I know it's not intentional, but it did hurt. She has been aloof and distant, especially on my birthday. On the morning of my birthday, she only spoke to a friend sitting across from me and then left to sit at another table with her boyfriend. No "hi" or "good morning." I made an attempt to be friendly with her in Physics class by pointing out that we were both wearing yellow, but that was about it. She didn't talk to me AT ALL. Maybe she doesn't even realize that she's been cold, but I really felt like I'm not her friend anymore. Friends know each other and all of a sudden, she seemed like a stranger to me. Do I really know anything about her?

Today was slightly different. For the first time in what felt like years (it was actually months), she sat next to me at the lunch table and watched me eat her cupcakes. They were incredibly moist and I like how she was generous with the blueberries. <3 Her boyfriend wasn't at the table because he had cafeteria duty so we could actually talk.

She tells me that it's difficult to juggle having a boyfriend and friends at the same time. Well, she has obviously chosen her boyfriend over her friends. I've never felt so neglected before.

I miss the old days.

Sixteen Years Old

This Thursday was my sweet sixteenth. I don't understand why turning sixteen is supposed to be special because mine was not special at all. I don't feel any different, and only a handful of people remembered my birthday. Everyone else (including my entire family) forgot. At times, I even forgot my own birthday because it was such an ordinary day. I know it is my fault for not telling them, but it would be weird to say, "It's my birthday." I truly don't mind, though. I was only hurt that one of my "close" friends did not even say hi to me on that day, much less wish me a happy birthday. I hate boyfriends because they get in the way.

Today was a nice and relaxing Saturday. My older sister treated me to a late birthday lunch at Dreamers Home Style Cafe, which is becoming one of my favorite restaurants. I love the decor and the nice ambience it carries. They offer many common dishes, but their food always has this unique taste that I can't quite pinpoint. Anyway, I'm not a food blogger so I can't describe it. All you need to know is that it was good and I ate like a pig. =)

I realize I haven't blogged since school started. I'm busy, already! Harhar.

--
My new classes:

Period 1: Physics EA*
The teacher is Ms. Rasay. We were already familiar with each other's faces because we've seen each other during the Engineering Expos. All we needed to learn were the names. I don't know if it's some sort of curse at this school, but all of the science teachers I've had so far have bad English! During my freshman year in Biology BSCS, my teacher was Ms. Hu. She had a horrible Chinese accent. During my sophomore year in Chemistry EA, my teacher was Ms. Trinh. She had a horrible Vietnamese accent. And this year? She's Filipino. With a horrible Filipino accent. Class didn't start off too well for me...I think she pinched me on the first day of school because I didn't know the radius of a hydrogen atom. ;o;

Period 2: Graphics Communication
Hmmm, not much to say about this class except that the work is easy and that the teacher reminded me of Mr. Oshiro, my wood workshop teacher back in Middle School.

Period 3: Travel Industry Management
I really regret taking this elective. ;_; I'm stuck with a bunch of loud and immature sophomores and I don't have a single friend here. A boring class.

Period 4: Pre Calculus EA*
I'm already expecting to have a hard time in this class. ><;;; I think I failed the first quiz. *sigh*

Period 5: AP English
I haven't had a decent, proper English class in four long years. Seriously. I was itching to finally learn something! Although this class is difficult, I don't hate it. =) I actually enjoy it because I like the teacher and my classmates (many of them are from my World History Honors class last year). I'm just so eager to improve my vocabulary, reading and writing skills!

Period 6: US History
It is just my luck to be stuck with the strange teacher that talks about sugar and peeling corn. I think we're doing the Civil War.

*EA = Engineering Academy
--

I also added a new gallery in the Photography section. They're pictures of Waikiki again, only this time there are more beach shots. My personal favorite shot is the first one. =)

Last Day of School!

Whoo hoo! I have said this many times, but I want to say it again: I still, still, still can't believe it is summer already! For the first time in a long time, I won't be taking summer school. I regret this a little (but only a little) since the majority of my friends are taking summer classes, but I really don't want to bother with it this time. xD Jenny makes a good point - there is no rush to go to college. Why don't you just enjoy your high school days while it lasts? I just experienced how fast the years go by. Two more years is nothing. Gosh, the very thought of graduating so soon is a bit scary. I plan to quit the Engineering Academy in my senior year because I find that being an engineer is not me after all. The electives I signed up for the next school year are "Graphic Technology" and "Travel Industry & Management." I feel like I'm going in all directions, but I like that I have a chance to explore my options. ^_^

This whole week went by slowly. There were more parties than classes actually being held in school. On Tuesday, my special history class planned a surprise party for Ms. Naks. We had two other teachers help us with the plan, but I think Ms. Naks knew that something was up. How can it not be obvious with twenty-something people in on it? During lunch recess, we had Ms. Asato pretend to ask Ms. Naks to watch her class while she goes on an errand. That gave us some time to prepare.


People went absolutely crazy.

Again, my pictures do no justice. The class was a mess as we flew streamers around and over the lights. The resulting clash of green, blue, yellow, pink, red, and lavendar looked like a gigantic spiderweb...a colorful one. Then we blew up balloons and hung some of them on the streamers. Hoang made four big banners...crazy girl.


THE head.

People who watched our play might recognize this. This was the mannequin-styrofoam head that Rachel, Juri, and I bought at Party City from all the way over in Waikele. We used it in our last scene in the Witch Hunts. Rachel's "head" was chopped off by the guillotine but curtains close before the audience sees. Then the "head" was thrown out onto the stage from behind the curtains. In the first two performances, the head got stuck in between the thick, heavy curtains. I wanted to get it right for the third performance so a precaution was taken. I took the initiative to throw the head out myself. However, I went a little overboard because the head flew right off the stage. -____-; Ah, well. The head is special to us all because of all the memories it holds. We decided to sign the head with a little message from each of us to Ms. Naks.


Uh-oh, somebody better help her.

Haha, I told Angie to smile for the camera but she looks like she is getting strangled by the big spider web. XD

When the bell rang for class to start, we told Ms. Nags (Nagareda) to blindfold Ms. Naks. We closed the lights and the whole class crouched down, ready. When she entered the class, the lights flipped on and everyone jumped up to yell, "Surprise!" while balloons were thrown at her. We gave her leis and then I gave her the doll I made. Then we had what seemed like a photoshoot session because thousands of cameras were flipped out and started flashing away for about ten minutes.

I said, "Don't you feel like a celebrity? XD"

Earlier, we had arranged our desks in a circle around our classroom. After the picture-taking session was over, we each stood up to say a little speech. Mine was crap because I can't say anything right at the right moment. Half of the girls in class started crying because that day was our last class together. Although I'm an emotional person, I wasn't one of them because I was not in the mood to shed tears.

We then grabbed some food while we watched a slideshow that Sam and Julia had prepared.


Going clockwise: Ally's chicken katsu, Hoang's mom's fried rice, my pasta salad, and Jenny's mom's mochiko chicken.

Note that the above picture only shows my first plate. ^^; Don't worry, I won't bombard you with any more pictures because the dessert pictures came out ugly (there were TWO cakes, toaster strudels, and cinnamon rolls). All of the food was deeeelicious and my favorite was Hoang's mom's fried rice. I think it may be the best fried rice I've eaten...no kidding (I've eaten fried rice at many places). At first, I was skeptical because I could see that there was pepper sprinkled all over it, but I found it the spiciness of the dish to be perfect. It complemented the rest of the flavors. The ingredients looked ordinary (like all other fried rice) - spam, egg, and cabbage...so it must be how the dish was prepared that made it taste so good. I want to ask Hoang more about it next time so I can learn to make it for myself. ^.~

Brave Girl at Heart

I am bursting with happiness today. I get sick often and easily. I am depressed when I'm sick. Therefore, I'm usually depressed. でも今日は元気だ!

There is nothing that happened in particular to make me feel this way, but I guess I'm happy because there's nothing that's going wrong. =) I'll start by telling you all about our play last Friday.

I guess I consider the play on Friday a success. *smiles* On that day, I woke up at 5:12AM. My dad was still home and he ended up driving me to school (so I didn't need to wake up so early after all, but oh well). I was the fourth to arrive, after Vincent, Janelle, and Tammy. Dang, these people get up early. I thought I'd be first. xD;

Anyway, we made a first run-through before school started and it was horrible. Disgusted with our performance on stage, Ms. Naks said, "What is that? This looks like the practice we had...two weeks ago. What is going on? What's up?"

Sam replied, "Um, um, I think it's morning sickness!"

Ms. Naks replied incredulously, "Do you even know what morning sickness is?"

"No."

"Good. I don't want you to know. Okay, moving on~"

I thought that was a funny conversation. Anyway, we didn't even have time to do much before our first performance started. Someone asked me if I was nervous. It is strange. I didn't feel anything.

We barely got any practice at all so I think everyone really panicked during the first performance. Many, including myself, messed up on our lines. We couldn't find certain props. I forgot to change my costume between acts. Halfway through the show, I felt that everything was wrong, wrong, wrong. The audience didn't help either. Not only did we mess up, we had a horrible audience.

If we think way back, we remember that this is a history class putting on a play. None of us were a part of the McKinley Theatre Group and some of us has never done acting on stage before (I haven't). It didn't make much sense for a history class to do a play, but it made sense for us to do a historical play. The class was divided into five groups with four persons in each group. We covered different parts of the world: Hawaii (because we live here), America, Europe, Asia, and Africa. The theme was "Women in World History: Triumph & Tragedy". We wrote our own scripts, came up with our own props and costumes...everything was up to us. My group chose to do Europe and we focused on the European witch hunts and Florence Nightingale. Our first act was meant to be tragic, but we made it comedic so that we'd have something light to offer the audience. In this act, I was the mother of a child who accused said child's teacher to be a witch. This is followed with a hilarious chase scene (closely resembling Scooby-Doo) and then the execution. Kenneth and his dad created this amazing guillotine and we closed curtains before the "head" would roll out. (We had bought a styrofoam head from Party City). XD; Although our scenes were funny, there were some other acts in our play that were more dark and serious.

Misaki and Julia was in the Africa group and chose to bring some attention to what the women in Africa were going through (domestic violence and abuse). There was a scene where the husband physically abuses his wife and a raping scene (don't worry, the stage was dark). The audience proved to be very immature and laughed at parts of the play that shouldn't have been laughed at. They were disrespectful.

It was okay in the end, though. When we asked Ms. Naks for some feedback after the show, she bobbed her head and waved her fingers. She recieved mixed responses from the audience. One comment stuck to me like glue. "One person said, 'You know what? They were just talking so fast and I couldn't hear or understand them at all.'"

People only remember the bad, not the good. That was the only thing I remembered.

Our second performance started soon after. I did almost throw up the fattening pastries I had for breakfast but I swallowed it back in. It didn't help that I've had a sore throat for an entire week. I thought we did way better on the second performance (maybe it's just that I didn't mess up) but Hoang and Erica both thought the first performance was better (maybe because they messed up). But Ms. Naks response was good this time. The audience loved us. (And they were better this time too!) Sometimes I feel a sort of connection to Ms. Naks because everything she says is what I've been feeling inside. We have the same thoughts and opinions. I don't need to say anything because she understands.

Writing a script and creating a play, not to mention acting, is harder than it looks. The reason we went to camp was so that we could feel more comfortable around each other. Teamwork was essential then, and it was definitely needed to make the play work. Working together with twenty people is pretty difficult and it took us a long time to make things run smoothly. The acting was no problem. But there was so many things going behind the scene, things the audience have no idea we're going through unless they've been in a play themselves. However, Ms. Naks said that things ran quite smoothly the second time around and I'm glad of that. ^__^ We joked to Ms. Naks that she should tell the audience that we only practiced on stage twice, so that we'd sound more impressive and so if we messed up, it's not our fault. xD Ms. Naks simply rolled her eyes. Because of the good feedback, some started asking for more.

"Oh! And tell them donations are welcome."

"And standing ovations!"

Ms. Naks replied, "Okay, and pretty soon they're going to ask for your autographs!" XP

It's funny. I wasn't scared to go up on the Odyssey III and I wasn't nervous on stage at all. I would think it, but I didn't actually feel that way.

Our last performance was the best. Coincidentally, our period 6 audience was the best. I peeked through the curtains and saw that the majority of my friends came during the last period (Tracy, Erica, Victoria, Janet, Chunnie, Yang, Joyce, etc.) After the show, I rushed out to greet some friends but only Janet waved and gave me thumbs up. "You guys were awesome!"

Yes, we were. =)

Busier than a Bee

Today was another exhausting day. I've never felt so drained and worn-out as I have been these past few days. I've never been so busy before in my life! I know I've said this before many times, but you can see that it is the truth this time considering that my last post was in April. It's almost 9:00pm and I haven't even touched my homework! Of course, I should be going over Section 15.1 because I have an early morning presentation in Chemistry EA tomorrow, but I don't feel like doing any studying at the moment. I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway, so I'm not going to push myself over the edge like I did this past year.

It's been so long. What's new? Tsuda sensei, the student teacher for Japanese, is going to graduate so he will be leaving our class. I don't feel happiness or sadness by his absence (I know many are happy to see that he is gone) but I'd still like to wish him luck in the future. He is a strange guy, but he does seem to have a lot of passion and love for teaching about the Japanese language and culture. I respect him for that. Anyway, I should be happy because I have so much more than the required points (meaning I'm getting an A++)!

In the last week of April, I also met Dr. Randall Roth and Judge Samuel King, the authors of Broken Trust. It is a truly impressive book and I recommend it to everyone, whether they live in Hawaii or not. Although the book concerns itself with the Bishop Estate and the troubling political issues in Hawaii, the book is not only about the shameless abuse of a charitable trust. It speaks of corruption and what people did to stand up to what was wrong, even when all of the odds are against them. The authors are also very humble people (even with their high titles and accomplishments). I felt a bit intimidated but also very inspired. It makes me feel happy that people like them actually exist in this world. They've inspired me to want to go out there and make a difference in the world as well.

I also went to a Judo tournament on the last Saturday of April. The people there scared me, even the people yelling cheering from the bleachers. Who was I kidding when I said I wanted to join the judo team? One flip and I'm a goner.

Last weekend was hardly a break, either. I went to another doctor's appointment, went shopping and eating out with my sister, and attended the Spring Concert. Sunday was Mother's Day so I woke up extra early (even though I stayed up late the previous night) to bake my mommy a cake. I baked her favorite type of cake with plenty of eggs. It was my first time making Chinese sponge cake, but she liked it so I'm happy. =) I also finally bought myself a new digital camera!!! *throws confetti* Nothing went as planned, but I should stop being so spoiled and get over the fact that life never goes exactly the way you wanted it to (I'd be married to Junsu by now). I finally spent the money I've been saving since I was five years old. I only hope it won't break my heart like the last one. I still haven't gotten a chance to play with it yet and my sister's graduation is tomorrow. Dear god.

I had a huge math test on Monday. I was supposed to have studied over the weekend, but who had the time? I certainly didn't. I barely got any sleep the previous night so I was in no condition to take a stupid test. I don't know why, but I had a hard time falling asleep. It was horrible because I was so exhausted and tired, but my head wouldn't allow me the pleasure to take a break and rest! I think I only slept for four hours...I know there are some people who do that, and stay up until morning, but I'm not one of them. A girl needs her beauty sleep! You can imagine that I didn't do well on that test. I did the best I could, but my brain simply wasn't functioning well. If the test was on another day, I'm pretty sure I would pass with a higher score. I don't look forward to seeing what my percentage is in class tomorrow.

This week has been nothing but drama practice. I had the longest rehearsal today, from 12:00pm to 5:30pm~ish. I haven't really mentioned the play too much in this blog. This proves just how busy I was since it is THE play that has taken over my life these past few weeks. It is the only thing I have on my mind right now. After this Friday, everything will be over and I'll be back to having no life, but right now, the play is everything.

We finally did rehearsals in the auditorium today and it was really bad.

I'm not saying that we're the source of this horrible-ness, but we're simply not ready and the performance is on Friday. What we have so far is such...rough work. We definitely underestimated the amount of time we had and everything is rush, rush, rush. We barely got to use the stage for practice. Everything is last minute and I kept wishing we had more time.

...But I know these guys. Any other class wouldn't be able to pull it off, but I'm proud to say that this particular class is special, as cheesy as it sounds. *dodges rotten tomatoes* As crazy and busy and hectic and unorganized and screwy as we are now, I can honestly believe that we can do it. It's a critical time for everyone and yeah, of course, there are people biting each other's heads off but I know we all secretly love each other (right?!)

After camp, I can't help but think that everyone is capable of pulling miracles.