I apologize for being such a whiny bitch lately.

I guess I can step back and take a look at the big picture since I have tonight finally free to do homework (whaa?)

But only for tonight because I know what comes ahead is another big hurdle I have to overcome.

I grew up hating that my mother always compared me to other kids, but I do it to myself too. Sometimes, it takes a negative toll on my self-esteem, but mostly I'd like to think on the positive side - that it could serve to inspire me for self-improvement.

I have a friend who seems to perfectly define what a capable person. She has the personality. She has the patience. She is actually what I think my mother wanted me to be. I think, "If she can do it, why not me?"

And yes, why not?
I take on the same amount of work (sometimes more) than she does, but she seems to be fine, while I'm kind of...withering away.

I am not as emotionally stable.
I freak out too easily and I stress too easily.
I don't like the person I become when I'm overworked.

People have told me not to force or push myself too hard.
But is there any way I can stop?