What is your fondest memory of high school?

I can't think of a specific moment.

I don't know if it is because 1) I don't have one, 2) I have a bad memory, or 3) I am too lazy to try to remember. I think it might be the last one.

What I do remember is that senior year was the best, but by far, one of the most stressful times I've had. Not only because of classes, AP exams, and college apps, but also drama among friends. Thankfully, I wasn't a part of most dramas, but I do remember many moments regretting something I have said. Maybe I am too serious, which is why people cannot tell when I'm joking or being sarcastic.

I used to beat myself up over it all the time, scolding myself, "Why did you say that?" and wishing that I could think before I speak.

But I didn't think I could actually do this because of my brash personality.
I was surprised that I managed to achieve this now that I'm in college...but it might have gone to the point where I have become a little too self-conscious and aware of everything I say. Again, I find myself unable to relax.

I've always thought it was good to think before you speak, but it is not because you can't be fun and have fun.

New Year's Resolution for 2010:
Stop walking on this tightrope already and jump!

More thoughts.

Yesterday, I felt a little like Tsukushi Makino from Hana Yori Dango (also known as Boys Over Flowers). Not particularly because I was surrounded by four incredibly rich and popular boys, but because I was surrounded by wealthier people in general. In other words, I felt like what the Japanese would call びんぼう (poor).

I have always thought the mall was boring, but it is always a different experience depending on who you go with!

I realize that the school I applied to was expensive, but I did not realize just how much richer than me everyone was! They live in big mansion-like houses up in the mountains, their parents are owners/managers of successful businesses, they have multiple houses and apartments (around the world?!), they have their own boat (?!), give themselves $$$ haircuts, and the list just goes on... It is very, very impressive. Oh, and my school has its own forest.

...And me? My parents cannot speak, read, or write English. They have low-paying jobs. And we have five people living in a tiny two-bedroom apartment. My brother does not have the first floor of the house (what house?) to himself, he sleeps in our parents' room. The friends I made in Hawaii are similar to me in terms of background and economic status. We all have immigrant parents, we all live in tiny apartments in town, and many of them are first generation Americans like me. For some of them, their children will be first generation Americans since they were not born in America. Although some of my friends are into designer brands...well, it's still not the same, haha.

Their world seems so...alien to me.

What am I trying to say? Do I really want this to be my first post for the New Year...?

It is funny how absolutely BORED I was between Christmas and New Year's while I'm swamped with work now! Last week, I was a slave to my dramas and I did nothing else. Although I had plans to do this and that, I was stuck in a slump and did not feel motivated to do anything at all. D: It did not make sense because there was a point in time when I did not feel like talking to anyone or seeing anyone...but I started to feel very lonely and depressed staying at home all day.

I had many friends and yet no one I could call since my close friends have boyfriends or jobs.
I like to have space, but at the same time, I do not like being alone.

It was driving me a little crazy!

I need some kind of human interaction (besides my impassive brother and my nagging mother!)

I finally started reading Kimi ni Todoke (From Me to You) by Karuho Shiina. The plot was very similar to Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge (also known as The Wallflower under its U.S. release) by Tomoko Hayakawa, which I did not like, so I was a little hesitant to read Kimi ni Todoke. In the series, Sawako Kuronuma, the main character, is a social outcast. A freak. She scares people away with her face, she is shy, and she is always amazed when someone is nice to her.

She is a pretty extreme character...but I can relate to her!
(Doesn't this say something?!)

(It is a mere coincidence that we have the same hairstyle, right?)

*dies*

I am still very awkward with most people and it takes me the longest time to open up. I wish I could say that I am an easy going person, but if you are reading this, you probably would have realized that I am not. When I met up with some friends for a quick Zippy's dinner and Krazy Karaoke on Wednesday night, I had lots of fun, but still felt...stiff compared to everyone else. I think I was stuck at home for too long, dangerously leaving too much room for paranoia to grow and leaving me alone with my weird (potentially negative) thoughts. It is not healthy being around my mother (the most negative person in the world) for too long, haha. ^^;

Joyce actually saved me from my misery this past Tuesday by driving me to Ewa (Sandy) Beach. I have never been there before and going to new places are always exciting! We had fun burying our toes into the soft sand, watching the ocean waves crash onto shore, feeling the salty winds mess up our long hair, writing names with our foot in the sand, and of course, taking plenty of pictures.




Donna from Portland sent me a snow picture (!!!) so I wanted to send her a beach picture (with her name in it, of course). ^^

I felt touched that Joyce took me out even though she was supposed to hang out with her boyfriend (some of my other girlfriends aren't that nice!) ^^ I ended up intruding on what otherwise might have been a romantic date later for them that night, hehe!

We had dinner at Nordstrom Cafe and all ordered panini sandwiches! I've always wanted to try a panini sandwich because it looks so delish and the one I had did not disappoint!


Pesto Tomato Chicken Panini

We walked around the mall and ended the night at Tantalus (yay for Joyce's awesome driving skills!)

Again, random.

A week has passed since I came back to Hawaii! I know I blog very infrequently and spontaneously, so I apologize for those who do read my blog. ^^; I did plan to blog more about my life at Willamette, but I was far too busy to actually sit in front of the computer and type up everything that has happened to me. I planned to write many entries, including one about my Thanksgiving weekend, but that was so long ago that it is not longer relevant. I admire those who can continue to blog consistently!

Everyone keeps asking me how I am enjoying my break so far. The nice answer would be, "Great!"

And of course. I am back home in Hawaii, where my family and friends are. I should be happy, right? But to be honest, my real answer for last week would be, "Not really..."

I am glad I got to see my friends again and I did many incredibly fun things with them! I ate pho, drink bubble tea, took purikura, exchanged Christmas presents, watched movies, sang karaoke, did some mochi pounding, and chilled at the mall. I was also ready to tell everyone many stories! But I was never in the mood to really talk. I was always feeling down. Maybe it is because of PMS. Or maybe it is because I am living with my family again, where everyone is angry and irritated all the time. Or maybe it is the environment I live in, with homeless peoples and drug addicts lurking around left and right. Thankfully, the weird mood I was in is gone now.

I have been unproductive these past few days. It is terrible, really. The heat is getting a bit unbearable (I think I really do need to wear just a bikini around the house!) and it puts me in such a lazy mood. It feels too hot to do anything! XD I ran by the ocean three times since summer winter break started and it feels great! I would do it everyday, but it is difficult for me to wake up early enough in the mornings. XD

Today was fun! I spent the day working on a drawing that I kept redoing (that wasn't fun, but I am a perfectionist so I couldn't help myself...) and then I met up with Chunnie. We were planning to do a photo shoot at the beach as the sun sets, but clouds covered the sky and it started to rain. It was okay, though, because we spent some time chatting over yogurt at Tutti Frutti. We had a lot of catching up to do so we talked a lot! ^^

At night, I spend time watching dramas with my big sister. <3 I am currently watching three dramas, all of which I highly recommend!!!



OHITORISAMA: I started watching this with Kayla and Micah at Willamette, and then I watched all six episodes again with my sister. This is my first time watching a drama starring Mizuki Arisa and I really like her! I can relate to her character and she always provides many laughs! This is a fun romantic comedy!


MR. BRAIN: I've been wanting to watch this before I left for Willamette, but there was no time! I waited until I came home again because I really wanted to see it with my big sis, haha. Since it stars Kimura Takuya, I knew it had to be good (he never fails!) And it doesn't disappoint! If you enjoyed Galileo or Kiina, you will be sure to love this one! They all feature a main character who is a genius, but has his or her own eccentricities! Every case has been extremely interesting so far...! Every episode provides an educational psychology lesson. I find myself saying, "Hey! I learned that in class!" XP



WHEN IT'S AT NIGHT: I took a break from Korean dramas for a while because they were a bit too much. To get me to watch a Korean drama, the plot has to be interesting (and not too predictable), the acting excellent, and the main character NOT annoying. It is difficult to find a drama that fits this criteria, but I thought I would give this one a try because I love Kim Sun Ah and the plot is different from anything else I have seen. I hate the typical Korean drama.

I still cannot believe 2009 is ending! It was a very eventful year...a good one. ^^ I grew alot, experienced many firsts, met many new people, and made many new friends! II hope 2010 will be just as good, if not better! My resolution for the new year is always the same...always strive for the best!

Now I am off to watch some drama...

A new obsession with dresses...

When I was little, I loved watching Disney princess films and seeing the heroines twirl in their big beautiful ball gowns. I thought, "I want to wear one of those poofy gowns when I grow up." It is the last day of winter break. I should be doing something...studious, like flipping through my calculus textbook and looking over some of the old problems. Right. My head is still stuck in la-la-land, especially since I just went prom dress shopping with my friends for the first time!

In the afternoon, the four of us went to Masako Formals. Bridal wear dominated, but there was still a small section for prom dresses. I actually had a hard time finding a dress that I liked - maybe because I’ve never shopped for anything like it before and everything seemed so...extravagant! I could not picture myself wearing many of these dresses and I almost did not try any on until a friend handed me one and insisted that I try it.

There was a bunch of bridal wear catalogs scattered about on the table so my friends and I flipped through them. If I ever do marry a rich guy, I would love to wear a wedding gown designed by Vera Wang or Oscar de la Renta. <3

Oscar de la Renta Spring 2007


Here are some of my favorite gowns:

Hwang Jae Bok




Faviana:






Alyce Designs:



This one is my favorite:
(Should I ask Masako Formals to order it for me if they don't have it in stock?)

2009 has just come so the new dresses haven't arrived yet. I still have months to find the perfect one (and hopefully, I do at an affordable price!) After spending around two to three hours at the dress shop, we decided to take the bus to go to the Don Quijote area and grab a bite to eat. While we were on our way, one friend commented, "Wait. Shouldn't we be shopping for senior luau dresses first?"

(Duh! That's in a few weeks!)

Happy New Year 2009!

2008 was a very eventful year. I was busier than ever and spent more money than ever. As always, time simply flew. I wish I could say that I welcome 2009 with open arms, but I still childishly wish time would stop for just a moment. I feel a mixture of fear and excitement because I will be graduating from high school this spring (Oh. My. Gosh. There, I said it.) The time will come, whether I'm ready for it or not. Perhaps that is why I enjoy reading/watching books/movies dealing with time travel. It allows me to fantasize a bit.

On New Year's Eve, I finally got to watch the much anticipated movie, Summer Time Machine Blues, starring Juri Ueno and Eita. The movie has been sitting on my computer for almost a year (since January 2008!) but I never got around to seeing it. The movie turned out to be everything I expected so I was very happy. Fun! :)

I'm really enjoying winter break (I've learned how to relax!) But maybe that's just another way of saying that I've gotten lazier. School starts next week and I haven't started on any school work...oops! DX



I did design a bag though! It took me around eight hours to finish because I'm slow. I actually woke up last Sunday morning dreaming about the bag. I thought about it all morning, but didn't take any action. My head started to hurt as it screamed, "Do it!" So I did, but not without watching some anime (Monster) first to relieve the anxiety that had built up. I sometimes do get panic attacks like that for no reason...

A close up of the hedgehog:

I showed it to my co-workers and one thought it was a mouse. ^^; Ah,well, that was better than my mother, who thought the mushroom was an apple. I want to make more, but I don't think I will be able to since I haven't done any school work... ><

My 2009 resolutions:
1) Don't stress!
2) Think positively!
2) Be healthy!
3) Be happy!

I hope everyone is enjoying the rest of their winter break (while it lasts!) ^o^

End of Winter Break

Again, I haven't blogged in a while. I don't blog much, do I? o_o;

School starts tomorrow...I don't think I'm ready to go back. But that doesn't matter. I still have to go. -_-

Back in December (previous post), I created a goal list. Here's what I've completed:
1) Complete all homework assignments.
2) Work on school projects. (Nope.)
3) Study for the SAT. (Kind of? Not enough time.)
4) Revamp the entire Love-Train network. (Half finished.)
5) Bake yogurt cake.
6) Learn how to use the sewing machine.
7) Draw. (I drew so little that it doesn't count.)
8) Brush up on my Japanese! (Tried to.)

I regret fooling around during the break...I could have gotten some serous studying done. I did manage to make a new layout for the Love-Train.net domain and for Chantilly. There are three more layouts to go. A full revamp of this site should be on the way...I'm only worried about whether I have time since school is starting tomorrow. I am also considering changing the name of this site because I found another art site named, "Inspiration." -_- What do you guys think? Any suggestions?

Today was an "okay" day. Not much happened. I read Lovely Complex volume 3, made mochi, and sewed an owl. See? Not much.

Tonight I plan to play with some clay (finally!) and watch another episode of Galileo. ^.~

Merry Christmas!

Haha, it's kind of late right now (okay, realllyy late). But still. :D I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas today. Truthfully, Christmas day has never been special for me - in fact, it can be quite boring since all the shops are closed. But I was smart because I went grocery shopping on Christmas Eve so that I could make my brother and sister lasagna. Making lasagna is fun and I like how you can virtually add any ingredient you want. I prefer my lasagna with plenty of mushrooms and spinach~ yum!


Different angle, with some cheese sprinkled on top.

I meant to finish Orange Days by watching the final episode today, but there were some complications so I watched Security Police episode 1 instead. It stars Junichi Okada. <3 He's beautiful. The drama is pretty good so far. Lots of (literally) ugly bad guys. Okada plays Inoue Kaoru, an officer who is a part of the security police. He is cool when he takes down bad guys, but his character is extremely eccentric (I've been meeting alot of strange characters in Japanese dramas lately). Many people have good intuitions, but his sixth sense seems to be sharper than others. He also has moments when he "spaces out" but he can always spot a bad guy in the area from their movements. Inoue can also sense when a person has ill intentions or malice.


Here he is, spacing out. xD

I'm also watching Galileo, another Japanese drama that involves mystery. I can only catch up on watching dramas during long breaks. :D I have so many things I want to do over the break that I'm not sure if I can accomplish them all. Here are some of the goals I hope to reach by the 14th of January:

1) Complete all homework assignments.
2) Work on school projects.
3) Study for the SAT.
4) Revamp the entire Love-Train network.
5) Bake yogurt cake.
6) Learn how to use the sewing machine.
7) Draw.
8) Brush up on my Japanese! じつは日本語あんまり知りません...-_-;

A few days ago, my sister taught me how to crochet! I can do it (sort of) but I need alot more practice if I want to make amigurumi...*o*

Again, I wish everyone a safe and happy winter break!